that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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