so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I want to be your penis for a week.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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