The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
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