He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
