Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
