I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
So vagazzling was a success
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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