Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
