rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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