Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Don't EVER smell your tampon
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
