I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize