just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
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