Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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