Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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