guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
