How'd it feel making her break her religion?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
