Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
