he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
