my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
