the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
