whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Are we still banned from the library?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize