Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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