So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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