Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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