she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
