Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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