The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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