We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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