I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
