so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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