I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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