I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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