Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
