If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Randomize
