i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
