they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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