Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
