your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
