last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
