Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
