i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Randomize
