Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
