you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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