does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
