I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
