I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Randomize
