I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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