We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
