He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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