I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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