How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Randomize
