shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I just googled if crying burns calories
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
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