If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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