I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
