Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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