Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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