Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
