Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
