Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
