I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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