I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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