I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize