ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
