I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
