I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
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