# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
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