we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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