i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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