i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Drunk walkin through police station. America
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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