I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
