I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
