so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
