these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
