Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
