: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
