We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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