why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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