I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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