Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
