the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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