I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
did you just send me my own nude
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
