So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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