i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize