It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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