i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
