god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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