dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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