you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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